Hipster Narrative #2 - A typical facebook session panic attack in the life of a wide-eyed and aspirational arts student.

Girl:
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.
FACEBOOK HAS A WHOLE NEW PROFILE SYSTEM?! JUST ON THE INTERNET'S BUSIEST TIME OF YEAR?!
AND I'M SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPY ABOUT THIS CHANGE?!
AND IT LOOKS SO DIFFERENT?! AND YOU CAN DO EVERYTHING EVER EVER IN THE WORLD?! AND TAKES SO LONG TO LOAD?!
HOW IS MY COMPUTER GOING TO LIVE THROUGH THIS CHANGE? AND FIGHT WITH INTERNET EXPLORER? AND GOOGLE CHROME?! AND NOT LOSE ALL MY PHOTOS?! AND ALL MY FILES?!
HOW THE FUCK AM I GOING TO LIVE LIFE SUCCESSFULLY?!

Life:
Ugh. Deal.
Just do it. You're just gonna have to struggle with the old one til you get the new one going, like you've been doing for the past few weeks babe. It'll be fine.

Girl:
I HATE CHANGE. I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS. FACEBOOK USED TO BE MY ESCAPE. NOW IT'S JUST A METAPHOR FOR MY LIFE. AGHHHHHH.

Life:
Deal. Just do it.

Girl:
Okay.

Life:
[silently stares at a huge computer screen, taking in way more important things]

Girl:
Oh it's working fine now. Way quicker. But I still don't like this. I miss the old facebook. It felt like home. I feel sad.

Life:
Ugh. Deal.

Girl:
Yeah, you're right. I look hot in that picture anyway...