Hipster Narrative #1 - A typical morning in the life of a wide-eyed and aspirational arts student.

Life : Hey! You there!

Girl : Wha'? Me?!

Life : Yeah, you! With all your GenericArtyBohemian potential! Come! Live life to the full!

Girl : ... Nah, I don't have time for life right now, I gotta wash my hair...
Life : WTF?! Stop procrastinating, you lazy fuck. First Class Honours ain't called First Class for nothin' ya know.
Girl : Nah, I'm serious I gotta was my hair.

Life : Uhh wottevvs babe.. It can't be that important - it doesn't look that dirty.

Girl : Uhh wottevvs babez. I just had to rip out two massive revolting dreadlocks. Despite only ever using an entire bottle of OverPricedBestSellingBlondeConditionerThat Doesn'tNecessarilyBetterTheCheapButCrap-LookingOption.

Life : Stop freakin' out bitch - it can't be that bad.
Girl : Uhhhh yeah, it can. My scalp is bleeding. Look [reveals scalp].
Life : Uhh...
Girl : [staring at herself in the mirror with a concerned expression] Perhaps the Low-MaintenanceAlternativeGenericAsFuckHairCut isn't so Low-Maintenance after all...
Life : [stunned by gore of scalp] Jeez...
Girl : Or perhaps it is, and I just need to learn how to brush it again. With a hair brush, right?
Life : Wha...? Are you serious?
Girl : At least once a week, right?[whips out CheapSetOfMensBeardTrimmers and proceeds to groom]
Life : Oh for Fuck's sake. I give up.



Yes, this is Alice Dellal. And yes, I do have this haircut.



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TRUE STORY.